Thursday, November 01, 2018


I am freaking tired.


What kind of a starter is that. I know. But I am freaking tired. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Damn.

I thought I figured life out on my 26th birthday??? At least that's what my blogpost said that time... I probably have jinxed it LOL.

I am in a mess right now lol.

And I really want to write this down so I hope few months from now when I have passed this season, I can read this and laugh at myself, then give myself a pat in the back for surviving this. hahahhaha.

The past 6 months have been a roller coaster for me. I am drained and saturated. I lost 6kgs since April. I question myself every single day.

It's really funny how I change so much in these 6 months. I miss those days when I was sooo happy and didn't give a damn on everything coz I was just so content with myself. lol. what th happened???


Just today, only today, morning I have product update in one of the business partner. Followed by lunch with another business partner. Then went to one of the distributors to celebrate his birthday. Continued with another discussion with another business partner with my regional alliance.

I have only checked my email when I was waiting to celebrate the distributor. But I am tired already lol.

Now I am in one of the restaurants in PIK for komsel. My cell leader is not available today so she asked me to take care of komsel today. In all honesty, I am freaking tired hahhaa. But then, I am suddenly so touched by the love of God. I have been complaining here and there with my current condition. I am sinful. I really think I don't deserve this. I don't think I deserve this chance to serve Him. T_T How could He still love me and allow me to take care of His children when I can't even take care of myself?

How is this possible?

I know this is so unstructured. lol.
What am I trying to say in this post I don't know lol.
My komsel friends are starting to come so bye for now lol.

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