Friday, July 23, 2021

Just Sorting Out Messy Thoughts


22 July 2021.

We are on day 20 PPKM (Pemberlakuan Pembatasan Kegiatan Masyarakat) or day 2 extended PPKM now become PPKM Lv 4. Whatever you wanna call it.

So I have not been out from the house for 20 days.

I actually did journal the days on my phone just that today I want to try something different. aka write back in my forgotten blog lol. Ever since there is instagram, I doubt anyone still write and read blogs though.

I don't have any topic in mind. I just feel like writing something (?) try to clear out this messy thought a little bit.

On corona & pandemic.

I once read an influencer in instagram was asked "what is the first thing that you want to do once this pandemic is over?" and his replied was asking back how can you be sure that the pandemic is going to be over.. In fact, he has actually accepted that we are going to live with the virus forever so he adjusted his life accordingly. 

He moved from an apartment to a landed house so he has more space in his house. He set up a very comfy working room so he can work from home and he minimized his mobility.

I found it interesting yet ... scary because it might be true. Especially in Indonesia right now.

And unintentionally I have done sort of the same. My room has changed 80% since the start of pandemic last year. 

- I have changed my cabinet into a big one with big mirror so I can stretch at home

- I have a working table now

- I have a TV and TV cabinet

- I changed my chair into a more comfy one

- I bought another 3 portable desks, 2 for me to work sitting on the floor, 1 for me to work if I want to sit on my bed

- I put on wood vinyl flooring

- I change my blue curtain to a pink one

Even my friend who used to frequent staying over my room, when we did video call she said she did not recognize my room hahaha. I, too, had try to adjust to this work-from-home situation where I make my room the most comfortable for me to work.

However, even with all these, I still found it pretty lonely, working alone everyday in your room. I did zoom sometimes with friends, it did help but still..... 

I wish this world would recover soon. I wish meeting people would not be a scary experience. I wish we can hug each other again. But for now, I wish we are all safe and healthy. 

On daily life.

I have resigned from my job since end of Feb. Officially free since March. Something that I have been wanting to do for so long!! Hahaha. People ask me how? Am I happy now? I always said yeah of course happier now, but also I have lesser money now compare to when I was working lol. The joy of receiving salary every month.. But then after I resigned, the first few months, I was working on the opening of Luberger PIK so I was totally fine and busy. When it has finally opened, my time was dedicated for Bakcang32 because it was the dragon boat's festival. In between I was still teaching pole-dance (something that I enjoy so much!!) and building certain products with some friend so all was good!

Until PPKM.. and I am stuck safe at home lol. 

It's funny how we can plan but all we can do is plan. Life is so short, nobody knows... I often question myself if I die have I lived my life to the fullest? 

Have I ?

All I know is I am grateful for my life. My life was, is and will always be perfect.. for me. 

There are just so many things to be grateful for. I am alive and breathing. I am healthy. My family is healthy. The sky is blue. The sun always shines for us. I can on and off the air-con as I pleased. I can wash my hair as I pleased. I don't have to wear make up and dress up. I don't have to drive and stuck in traffic lol. I can sleep anytime I want. I can just sit at home. lol. I have friends. I have this ability and luxury to write my thoughts out. I can drink coffee everyday. These small little things, seemingly unimportant, but I am so grateful for all of them. I think we all have taken things for granted before. I am learning to appreciate more things everyday. Appreciate life. Appreciate this great life that I am honored to be living. I am grateful for my great life. I am grateful for the upcoming great events in my life, big or small. I appreciate them. 

So was looking at my old post back in 2017.. what a great life I had hahaha

and I posted this

a very nice reminder :) 

I think I will stop here for now, because I am tired already lol. Let's try to find more things to be grateful everyday. <3

Sign off!